Sunday, August 15, 2010

Only way is up!

Know what I like most about being a housekeeper at a local college? I like my college ID which states faculty/staff. Ok, I admit I like reserved parking, parking next next to professors. What I like most is not being satisfied.... Working as a housekeeper I am reminded constantly of 4 specific things: (1) my identity is in Christ not how many BS, BA I have. (2) Always do your best no matter what (3) I am called to serve, outside of my comfort zone. (4) I am learning to be content with materials and hunger for spiritual. What's sad is that it has taken me almost 32 years to fully understand the Be Attitudes.

This past Friday I left work with 5 uniforms in hand for Housekeeping and a heart full of tears. It was bad enough having to carry around a toilet brush, mops, and brooms on campus... now we are having to wear these smocks/grubs nurse like things with "custodian services". I like my college ID which states faculty/staff. What I don't like is the title on these grubs. As I walked around with head hung low carrying these 5 smocks/grubs in my hand I had to constantly remind myself that my identity is in Christ, not the shirt I had wear on Monday. I looked at the style and the phrase "custodial services"... this is not me and this not where I want to be. I constantly told myself I'm not being what God created me to be, I'm living below God's standards and expectations. I was not living in His plan. That evening I did not go straight home. I walked around the block pouring my heart to God... God I learned humility, I learned service, and I learned my identity. What else is there? God I don't like that these shirts advertise what I am and what I do. I told God I was quitting my job and either going to Van Buren to teach or substitute teach here in town. The Holy Spirit gently whispered... quitting over a uniform..... ?absolutely!! I was told on the interview we would not have uniforms... I did not want smock/scrub I would stay if I was issued polo shirts or regular T-shirts. I told God how I hated having this title and wearing such pathetic looking smocks and I was not keeping this job. Again, the Holy Spirit gently tapped me on the shoulder and whispered, when Jesus was on the cross he had on a thorn of crowns, nails, and scraps of clothing... so because Jesus was dressed like a murderer, was He a murderer? When Jesus was in deepest darkest moment did he quit? Did he forget the promise that He would be resurrected. I gradually looked towards Heaven pouring my heart that I doubted Him and was more concerned about my titles/reputation than serving His children and taking this opportunity to provide for family. I continued my walk with God around the block. I shared my visions and dreams with God... how I wanted to get my MA in Elem education and MA in Christian Education and Phd in Rural Education. God gently reminded me of the professors in Austria and how even if I decided to teach at TCMi I would wash/dry dishes in the kitchen and even clean the toilets of the students. Even if I was a professor at Ozark Christian I would have to tear down my pride holy and completely. God gently reached down and directed the thinking of his child and taught me (5) just wear the name Christian from the inside out.... Just as a savior crucified on the cross does not make him a sinner, a smock with "Custodian Services" does not make me any less of God's child.

Sometimes you need to hit bottom so you look up to a friend to take your hand and pull you to higher grounds.


3 comments:

  1. I understand. I am not where I visioned myself either. But you are right, we must look at each situation as a blessing and opportunity. All those things I preached and taught about are now being forced upon me. Will I stand strong - or will I quit? I want to stand strong. Standing strong means fully submitting to God. This season in life is difficult and, at times, embarrassing. But I look forward to seeing all that god has in store for us. I love you.

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  2. Wow, Kellie, this was amazing. I hate/love when God puts us in our place and shows us what being a child of God really is all about. Praying for you.

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  3. Kellie , your comments were so heartfelt and touching it made me cry.i can only imagine how you must feel going from teacher to custodian services. How Daniel must feel also going from ministry to forklift operator. We all worry about what others will think about us. i think God is saying to you "I am so pleased with you. You have shown that you are willing to humble yourself, now wait and see what i have in store for you". God hears our cries,He knows our pain, he sees our tears. Just don't give up. Stand firm. Keep you trust in him because he is not through with you yet. He has many good things in store for you.He answers prayers and he will give us the desires of our heart.Thank him everyday.Our god is a mighty God and nothing is impossible with him . Do what you know you need to do to make these desires true and stand and watch him work. Love you Dear!
    P.S. Like your mother said, I too am very proud of you.

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