Desperate calls and measures

For the past seven years my son has not eaten vegetables, fruits, or red meat. His last red meat was at age two when he used to like raviolis. Not sure what happen but at 30 months he would not touch anything green, red, or brown. He was to the point of only eating cereals and oatmeal for breakfast and then starving himself the remaining of the day unless chicken nuggets or grilled cheese was served. (I'm not the kind of mom that fixes a different meal for each person- get what I make or go hungry) That is exactly what my first son did for six moths until the doctor was going to hospitalize him for his weight. The doctor said feed the child whatever he wants but don't force him to eat. At age 4 he was still living on PBJ, grilled cheese, and chicken nuggets. The doctor said it was faze and would grow out of it around his 5th birthday.

My son is now seven and a half. We have been through three pediatricians not one of them checking his iron, heart valves, or sugar level... no matter how many times I asked. Finally I found a pediatrician who checked his iron and is monitoring his diet. My son is back on only foods I cook (chili, hamburger, chicken, and tuna sandwiches) and no tea/caffeine. So far in the past 50 hours he has eaten Kix cereal for breakfast, drank water, and a sip of juice, and taken his iron medication. Again we are not to fight to make him eat but just offer high iron foods to him.

As I was packing lunches for my family to take to Tulsa workshop I opened a can of pinto beans and mixed peanut butter in with the beans and used this substance (pinto beans/peanut butter) to create a high iron peanut butter sandwich. Will he eat it... I have no idea yet but anxious to fin out. As I was making this substance and smelling (not daring to taste it) to see if the color and smells blended in I thought, is this cruel to do my child? While talking to myself I came to the conclusion if I did not do this his anemia would only get worst. (yes, it took pediatrician #4 to take his blood and diagnosis him)

Knowing my child's diet effects his heart, activity level, emotional level, and blood cells I try not to let him see my fears and concerns but loving provide him with high iron meals and then sadly putting it all in the trash. I can't force my child to eat only encourage him.

I think this is what God saying to the broken world- I can't make you drink water that gives hope, eternal life, and bread that feeds a soul longing for rest and joy. God says my child it is here for whenever you want it and how ever much you want. God is not forcing his children to eat or drink (the word of God) but only placing and holding it their in front of us longing for us to take hold of the substance our souls long for.

My son does not realize his body needs iron, minerals, and vitamin C. As a parent I know what he needs and I know how he can get it but I can't force it on him. I have to wait patiently for him to come and take the his body needs and wait and wait... it's hard and I do concerns so out of desperate measure I mix pinto beans in a sandwich hoping to get the vitamins and iron he needs.

I can only imagine how much more God's heart is broken when his children don't eat/drink of the bread of life. God may have to provide experiences and challenging times to force us to eat of His food in order for us to live and breathe. God may not mix pinto beans into a PBJ or yellow corn into a grilled cheese sandwhich but He may take away some form of security to remind us to come and eat and the food HE has provided.

From Son up to son Down

From the time I wake up til my last son is in bed it is constantly mommy or Miss Kellie. My boys are sweet and demanding of attention, affection, and things cleaned. At work 20 4&5 yr. demands attention, affection, things cleaned, and conflicts resolved. I feel like a counselor, housekeeper, first-aide nurse, and teacher 24/7.

On Monday it was announced no school on Friday. Which meant all three boys in school and I actually had a day off. On Wed. it was posted that yes, we have a teacher work day 8-5. I was down and really excited about an actual day off. No matter how hard I tried to fight for the original day off it did not work. So off to dropping the boys off in the morning and going to work (no breakfast with hubby or trip to Tulsa as we planned on Tues.)

As I was driving home and saw a white tortilla (full moon: but Timothy calls them tortillas) I was reminded of God's amazing works and power. How God never slumbers, complains, is always at work. I am blessed the sun goes down and my sons go down. God never has a time when the sun goes down and never a time when his children are not demanding of affection, counsel, first-aid, a teaching, or resolving a conflict.

Father, may I have heart more like yours. May I not grow weary of taking care of my family, showing your love to other families, and not get tired of treasuring your precious gifts- small children. God you have entrusted with the lives of three boys and allowed me to influence 20+ others. God help me to be positive in a situation I am happy with. God give me insight how I can be more like you everyday.

I praise you for the children and so many extra things. I think about the schools in the Philippines how teacher would long to have extra food to serve to kids or cots to bleach. I think about the orphanage in Ethiopia where children would dream of having extra clothes so they would have to do laundry twice a week. I think about the streets in Mexico where parents work in the market and leave their children to play in the dirt. How these parents would love to drive their children to bus stops, basketball, attend school plays, and help them with spelling words. I think about the family in Hong Kong who could only feed a sick child out of a trash can at night who would long to have knowledge to share with their child and be able to feed the ducks with their child.

So while my Friday seemed really bummed I've asked for forgiveness in being so selfish and self seeking. God has given so much more and has blessed me in so many ways that I can manage the resources He has blessed me with (job, family, education, and Church home). God I thank you and praise you that you never sleep so you can teach me, counsel me, and resolve conflicts within me. I thank you and praise for your forgiveness and everlasting love.

Celebration of Life

The last week of Feb. I was able to attend my grandmother's 90th birthday! During her party (Sat. 2/25) I received word a close family friend died of a heart attack. Wow! How life has twists and turns. I remember hugging my grandmother good bye at Cell Phone Lot in New Orleans. My thoughts were I am going to cherish this moment and make this last since this may be the last word, last hug, and last sight of my grandmother. What a privilege it would be be see my grandmother in a few years, but no regrets if God decided to take her life.

On Tuesday evening a close friend of mine gave birth to a little boy 3lb. 7oz. The baby is fighting for his life in NICU. My friend was released from the hospital and went to stay in a hotel without her baby. She is waiting for a room at Ronald McDonald House to become available. God has a way of teaching us who is in control and not to put trust in hands that can be seen. I celebrate the life of this little guy knowing God has a plan.

On Friday 3/2, the same week I learned my brother-in-laws past mistakes caused him to go to jail until a court date. That court date will determine a sentence or bail. It's amazing how life just turns. One minute enjoying freedom with family the next minute in a jump suit and handcuffs with limited fresh air.

Later that same night my niece was traveling from Searcy, AR to Texarkana on I-30. She was in a very bad car accident and her close friend from college died. It's amazing how life takes it turns. One minute having fun with friends the next minute taken off life support and God takes your life.

As I reflect on the ups and downs of this week I am thankful for life and I can celebrate life with God and for God. I celebrate the precious time I have with family (not knowing if we'll see each other again on earth), I celebrate that God does not keep track of our wrong like warrants, past mistakes, I celebrate life with my own children and challenged to make the most of every minute with them. I celebrate the life of David Morley (1946-2012) and know that he has finished the race while keeping the faith (2 Timothy 4:7) and we can live on David's desire to know God and present the gospel to young/old and rich/poor. I celebrate that my niece is doing well physical and continue to encourage her spirit with loss of a friend. I praise God in the storm and

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm