Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Desperate calls and measures

For the past seven years my son has not eaten vegetables, fruits, or red meat. His last red meat was at age two when he used to like raviolis. Not sure what happen but at 30 months he would not touch anything green, red, or brown. He was to the point of only eating cereals and oatmeal for breakfast and then starving himself the remaining of the day unless chicken nuggets or grilled cheese was served. (I'm not the kind of mom that fixes a different meal for each person- get what I make or go hungry) That is exactly what my first son did for six moths until the doctor was going to hospitalize him for his weight. The doctor said feed the child whatever he wants but don't force him to eat. At age 4 he was still living on PBJ, grilled cheese, and chicken nuggets. The doctor said it was faze and would grow out of it around his 5th birthday.
My son is now seven and a half. We have been through three pediatricians not one of them checking his iron, heart valves, or sugar level... no matter how many times I asked. Finally I found a pediatrician who checked his iron and is monitoring his diet. My son is back on only foods I cook (chili, hamburger, chicken, and tuna sandwiches) and no tea/caffeine. So far in the past 50 hours he has eaten Kix cereal for breakfast, drank water, and a sip of juice, and taken his iron medication. Again we are not to fight to make him eat but just offer high iron foods to him.

As I was packing lunches for my family to take to Tulsa workshop I opened a can of pinto beans and mixed peanut butter in with the beans and used this substance (pinto beans/peanut butter) to create a high iron peanut butter sandwich. Will he eat it... I have no idea yet but anxious to fin out. As I was making this substance and smelling (not daring to taste it) to see if the color and smells blended in I thought, is this cruel to do my child? While talking to myself I came to the conclusion if I did not do this his anemia would only get worst. (yes, it took pediatrician #4 to take his blood and diagnosis him)

Knowing my child's diet effects his heart, activity level, emotional level, and blood cells I try not to let him see my fears and concerns but loving provide him with high iron meals and then sadly putting it all in the trash. I can't force my child to eat only encourage him.

I think this is what God saying to the broken world- I can't make you drink water that gives hope, eternal life, and bread that feeds a soul longing for rest and joy. God says my child it is here for whenever you want it and how ever much you want. God is not forcing his children to eat or drink (the word of God) but only placing and holding it their in front of us longing for us to take hold of the substance our souls long for.

My son does not realize his body needs iron, minerals, and vitamin C. As a parent I know what he needs and I know how he can get it but I can't force it on him. I have to wait patiently for him to come and take the his body needs and wait and wait... it's hard and I do concerns so out of desperate measure I mix pinto beans in a sandwich hoping to get the vitamins and iron he needs.

I can only imagine how much more God's heart is broken when his children don't eat/drink of the bread of life. God may have to provide experiences and challenging times to force us to eat of His food in order for us to live and breathe. God may not mix pinto beans into a PBJ or yellow corn into a grilled cheese sandwhich but He may take away some form of security to remind us to come and eat and the food HE has provided.

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